- I moved from California to Germany while I was pregnant with my second child.
- My children are now 8, 5 and 3 years old and traveling with them was not fun.
- I had to adjust my expectations and plan trips that everyone could enjoy.
When I moved from California to Germany Four months pregnant with my second baby, I fantasized about the places my husband and I would take our children—swimming in the Greek islands, exploring the rugged mountains of Slovenia, and acting in London’s West End.
My wanderlust was reinforced by Instagram travel influencers advocates the virtues of traveling with little ones.
The reality was different
But when we traveled to Greece, to an Airbnb a mile from the Ionian Sea, I spent more time worrying about my kids breaking the glass coffee table or ornate glassware than enjoying my time.
At the Eiffel TowerI said, “Stop yelling,” instead of marveling at the incredible view.
At home and in daycare, they spent hours with their friends on the playground every day. They laughed, screamed and acted like children. But on vacation—in airplanes, museums, and our rented accommodation—I expected them to act like mini-adults.
I so wanted to open their minds to new experiences. But the trips my husband and I painstakingly planned with our three offspring—ages 3, 5, and 8—were not fun for anyone.
I changed my approach to holidays
I had to change my approach. I was looking for getaways with a children’s theme nearby that worked for the whole family. There was the trip to Kassel, a stop on Germany’s adventure route and home of the Brothers Grimm. There was a week in Leipzig – the zoo was a hit, the Bach museum not so much.
I had to give up trying to get my kids to explore the world and just let them enjoy it.
For our August vacation, we hopped on a three-hour train ride to a place where the local art scene was displayed in the craft room. The culinary offerings consisted of a bratwurst and ice cream stand. In other words, we went to a family camp.
Because I lowered my expectations of what we could do and let my kids just be kids, it was the most fun we’ve had on vacation together.
Changing our vacations allowed me to relax
Giving my kids unadulterated fun allowed me to relax, at least as much as I could as a mother of three youngsters.
I’m not the type of parent who wants to spend all my free time at an indoor water park with dozens of other screaming families, but I’m learning that we need to have age-appropriate fun. And it looks different than what I imagined (or what I saw on social media).
When they get older, I’m sure we’ll be able to go on the trips I’ve been dreaming of – cycling across Europe or seeing the surprise on their faces when they realize how small the Mona Lisa really is. That thought helps me sit through a 45-minute puppet show in a language I barely understand.
Our next school holiday is to a small amusement and indoor water park. We plan to spend our days outside in the cold, bundled up in jackets, screaming while riding slides and gorging ourselves on overpriced cotton candy and homemade peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. At no point do I plan to tell my kids to “be quiet”.
These trips aren’t significantly cheaper than before, but the local, low-key vacations we take now give me something a stay at a fancy hotel in Paris or Barcelona never could – a chance to enjoy my family.